Top Ten Ways How To Annoy Your Boss
85Disclaimer
Warning! This is not an advice column. I am not a Social Psychologist, Human Resource Specialist or Anthropologist. Pleased be advised that following the tips from this hub is at your own risk of unemployment. Please do not complain to HubPages, post on Forums or contact me by email to curse me off if you follow my list and get fired.
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Annoy your Boss, don't let him annoy you!
1. Always turn up late for work. At least three times per week make sure you are late. Any where between 15 minutes to two hours is fine. The perfect time is an hour. This will get you a few warnings but what the heck, there's nothing to do at that ungodly hour of the morning anyway. What's your boss thinking anyway, you have to send your kids to school, mornings are a hassle!
2. Take a sick day once every two weeks. Being sick is not your fault. You need the time to have some fun, you are working way too hard. The office can manage without you for a day. There are different ways to convince your boss that you are really sick.
Just get a migraine, have someone who is close to you do the calling. Let them say you are too sick to do it. You can also call in with stomach cramps, food allergies, back pain and tooth ache. I do not recommend the flu unless you need more than one day and you have a sinus problem. If your allergies start acting up that will give you the perfect opportunity to fake the flu as you will be sniffling and sneezing while talking to your boss on the phone.
3. Forget things, conveniently of course, like the filing or mailing of letter, or calling back a client. This is very critical to develop your bad reputation in the office. No boss likes to have to tell you repeatedly to do things or do them himself. This is an ideal way to get your boss all worked up.
4. Run up the phone bill with personal calls. It is every receptionist's dream to sit at the front desk, file their nails and make personal calls. There might be someone there just waiting for some information or someone trying to call through, so the best thing to do is to cut off the call or place it on hold and of course ignore the one waiting at the desk.
5. Chew gum during a meeting. Is there going to be a board meeting soon? Is the bigger boss going to be there? Two or three gums chewed together will make the perfect bubble when blown. I can just hear it pop. Wow, my boss will be thrilled that I ain't taking no notes, or paying attention to those boring directors. Yes, by all means chew away and even when asked a question just keep chewing all though your answer.
6. Leave work early. So you came in late a few times, no big deal. At least you are getting your work done. Leaving early is only fair 'cause you work so hard and your kids need picking up from school. There isn't anything left to do anyway, every one is leaving so why shouldn't you?
7. Always have an excuse for being absent. You can skip work without calling in and then turn up with the perfect excuse if you can find it! Let's see, you had a death or critically ill person in the family. You were in the emergency room all day for some mysterious illness. You have to make it good, best to gain some sympathy too or this may get you fired.
8. Sloppy work. Who cares if the letter has a few typos, no one is going to notice? So you did not tidy your desk, who cares? No one is perfect so why should I worry about it? You filed Dr. John Samuels under J. not S., heck his name is John, so what?
9. Slow work. They can wait. It's better to be late than never. Rome wasn't built in a day so why rush?
10. Tattle tale. You must watch your co-workers and whatever they do you must tell your boss about it. Tell him who leaves early (remember to leave out yourself though), who takes home the office supplies, who's having an affair, just don't leave anyone out, except yourself of course).
My Co-worker.
I was inspired to write this hub because of a coworker. She is always taking days off, complaining at work about her work, always feeling sick and tired, does sloppy work and takes forever to do a task. She has one thing working for her, she's always early so when she leaves early it doesn't seem like a problem except for one thing, her work is almost always unfinished. This is the perfect example of someone who annoys their boss, A BAD EMPLOYEE!
Check this out!!
- Top Ten Ways to Annoy Your Neighbor
Please be aware that I am not a Social Psychologist nor am I an Anthropologist and am not trained in any form to issue advice. If you have a neighbor that you need to annoy you do so at your own peril. Using...
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Cardisa, you are too funny. I did hope, though, that at the end you would have an explanation, and you did!
Hi Cardisa! Yep, I know people like this as well. They work my nerves!
Hi Ladyjojo, I have a coworker just like that,and I know a lot more people like that. I have had to let go a few when I worked in management. It is sad that some persons, even college trained have no professional ethics at all.
Hey SubRon, thanks for reading, I hope you don't have any co-workers that need brushing up on.
Hey Dexter, people like that always works your nerves because you end up picking up the slack every time, I do.
Mornin my friend,
You brought a giggle and a smile this morning..great read to start my day...lol
Sunnie
Hi Sunnie, hope you don't get annoyed by your co-worker any time soon...lol
Yeah you are right sometimes the most educated people have no training, manners etc. Their common sense was taken over by book sense thus it made them STUPID!
He have a degree too in sociology hmmmmm.
If i were boss would have fired long time i don't have patience for nonsense. LOL
Sometimes it's the simple things that really annoy people. Chances are, all these will not just annoy your boss but everyone in your office. The more important question now, what to do with these people? What should the company do - more than just reprimand the person?
....Cardisa, you are the gal for me ....and here epi's top ten ways (hopefully) to get Cardisa's attention:
10. always tell her she is such a terrific writer
9. prepare a nice meal for her
7. send her flowers everyday
6. hold her hand when she cries
5. hold her hand when she laughs
4. know that the sun has borrowed its smile from Cardisa
3. and know that you are a lucky when she smiles upon you
2. know that it was a good day when you both met at hubpages
1. say Irae and try to sound like Jimmy Cliff when you serenade her
After Epigramman's comment there should be no more. Cardisa, I applogize to be here after that old boy.
I enjoyed the hub. Too much.
You know Ladyjojo, what I have discovered is that many people who went to college, barely made it through by the skin of their teeth. Many persons earn their degree also by just buying one. Not every one learned or rather trained themselves how to operate in the work world.
I bet he barely graduate at he bottom of his class because he did not do the work and skipped school a lot.
Hi Jpcmc, you are right, not only does my co-worker annoy our boss but the other people who happen to work in the same environment. Just last week she was told she used her last chance so if she messes up again she's gone. We work in a private setting, not a company so we really have no room for further training. She has been here a 14 months and have not improve any.
Thanks for stopping by!
Epi, you've got my attention now. Not only am I blushing but smiling like a crazy schoolgirl struck with puppy love.
By the way....still waiting on the flowers.......lol
Hi Upal19, Epi is not a jealous man, maybe possessive but I am sure he wouldn't mind me getting a little attention from another handsome male. Nice having you here and feel free to always visit and leave your comments.
Oh Goody Goody! THis is Funny Funny! I'm goint to print this up and pass it around. Everyone is gonna love this. You are gem to ome up with this! UP and funny and awesome! Now I'm you fan and will be be back often. RJ
Thanks RJ, try not to get in trouble and please remember, YOU DID NOT READ THIS HERE!
Happy annoying!
I did not read this funny hub, but it sounds familiar.
It does sound familiar doesn't it Miss Exploring? My memory is a bit hazy...............lol
Hi Cardisa, I guess your co-worker had it coming!. Here's my take on this - try t help the person improve. But after all efforts and there's no improvement, get rid of the employee. He/she is more of a burden than of a help. Most businesses are just that - business. they are not a rehabilitation center for employees with skewed work habits.
sis OK that was f@cking hilarious, only way I can put it
Imagine truly if we were roommates hubbing and brainstorming
result; banned as sisters
xoxoxoxoxox
you da best girl
Hi Jpcmc, you are right she had it coming. We have repeatedly tried to help her. She is still her but I know that she won't last long.
Thanks for the comment.
If we were roommates, HP could not contain us. We would surely be banned, but the guys would certainly be fighting over the two very naughty girls.
ha your the bomb
needed that laugh to start off me day
have a great Saturday
oh half way done hub 30 of 30 with 3 days early whew it was awesome, but am exhausted and miss not having the time to read hubs so im not sure if I'm doing 60/60
I think I'm nuts but at least the guys know we are smoking hot sis
Kimmy,I know you've been busy, I missed you but I think you should hang in there. I can imagine you winning the challenge. What a payoff that would be. You have my full support and if you run out of ideas just call or write or email or holler...lol, I have lots.
Good luck, I am voting for you.
Cardisa, Thanks. It's healing.
I like it Cardisa, very funny and sadly true to life as well. We all work with one of those people. Hold on, I AM one of those people.
...well here I come with your flowers - send me please your e-mail address in a private in house e-mail here from the Hub and I guarantee you will get them Cardisa - and by the way I miss the beautiful lady in the picture - and yes it's true I am bombastic for someone like you - lol - 11:35 pm Saturday evening
You are welcomed Upal19.
Hey Mark, you are one scary...I mean funny...I mean humorous dude...
Thanks for stopping by, and yes it is sad that people actually function at that level.
Hi Epi, thanks for the flowers that I will get and sure I will replace my photo, doing them both as soon as I leave this page.
....Hey Caridsa !!!!!!! You're back and I love it - I see that your flowers arrived safely ......
Hi Epi, I am back and I love the flowers, they arrived safely no lost petals or crumpled.
One Love....
I forget things quite often, chew gum all the time and fall asleep at my desk every now and then. But guess what? I'm my own boss. I won't fire myself! hehehe....These are great tips for people who have a real boss, though. Well done. :)
Hey Om, maybe you should lay off or reprimand yourself....lol
Thanks for stopping by.
Where I work, sloppy work is rewarded with long-term employment and promotions (eventually). I am not kidding. I plan on annoying my boss next year and telling him I am going back to part time. I am not kidding. :-)
I found out I can get away with a lot as long as my boss likes me. My brother calls it: "stroking the feathers in the right direction," which sounds a lot better than "brown-nosing!"
For the record, I do not like working this way, I prefer to be proactive and motivated and start projects to make the place better, but my boss quickly taught me not to do that, I was constantly punished for it! I suppose I could have been more diligent and received the notice of someone higher-up, but at a place where my boss can be a manager, I don't want to be promoted!
Hey Alex, that environment seem to be very unproductive. Are you happy there? If not, then why not move out. If on the other hand you are contented doing what every one else is doing by all means continue.
Thanks Cardisa, I am trying very hard to build up an online writing income, but the irony is that I work so much overtime that it is extremely difficult to spend the time I need to on that. But yes, I am hunting for opportunities. My biggest goal in life is to work for myself. I can and want to work hard, and working for another person often diminishes the rewards of hard work. It sounds like you feel somewhat the same.
Hi Alexander, yes I feel the exact same way. I would like to also work from home, but is not always easy to earn the income that matches or exceed the one you are now making.
Good luck, I hope you succeed.
are you sure you will be still employed after doing all these tricks?
Hello Ivantsoft,
The idea is not to actually do it to annoy your boss, but to point out the ways that people actually do so.
This hub is not intended in any way to encourage bad behavior at work. If you notice at the bottom of the page I explained why I wrote this hub....inspired by my annoying co-worker who has been warned yet another time by our employer.
Even though for the most part I was self employed I had a few jobs and what I saw was people like this were just overlooked, the harder I worked the more they wanted (and like Alexander I always take pride in my work) and I had a job once where one girl ran around selling and delivery Avon all day, and she even worked overtime, it was rare to see her work and everyone knew it and no one said anything even if they did care. I think most bosses don't even know what is going on. Great hub.
Best way we found to annoy the boss is to play the 'Boggies' game in office meetings
If you've never played Boggies before
1. Gather a group of people together to paly the game
2. Take turns in saying the word 'boggies' getting louder each time
3. Winner is the loudest person at the end of the game.
Have fun annoying the boss
Hi Polly, most of these people are the ideal worker when the boss is around. In some cases others pick up the slack so it takes a while for the boss to catch on.
Thanks
Hey CyclingFitness,
that one is kinda funny too, will not only annoy the boss buy the co-worker who doesn't want to play!
This is hysterical! At one point, I had a job that I hated, and was trying to get fired rather than quit. (The job market was TIGHT, and while I was already looking, I hadn't had much luck. I knew being fired I would at least have a chance of collecting unemployment during my search, and could be rid of that place for good.) I implemented SEVERAL of the strategies you mentioned in your hub... mostly coming in late, leaving early, chewing gum, and doing things on my own timeline. I was "talked to" quite often, but they would NOT let me GO! I won't mention the name of the business here, but will say no one should go to work for them. They have ridiculously LOW standards when it comes to their employees! Thankfully, I have finally moved on. Again, funny stuff! Voted up! :)
Hi Manic, thanks for stopping by.
Glad you left that godforsaken place, it seemed like a very unproductive place to work.
Try throwing a surprise office party right before a major deadline for your department to "destress," and invite your friends and neighbors to join!
This has been very amusing to read. Voted up and funny.
I had an employee like this once.
Puddingicecream, I like that name.
Office party, very good idea. Thanks for stopping by.
Hi Garret,
I gather that employee is no longer employed.....lol
Hooking up with the bosses daughter is FROWNED UPON in this ESTABLISHMENT!
You are right Wise, that would really annoy any boss man....lol
I had to read this one because my husband is really my boss. (We own a business). I do all these things he still wont fire me!!
I was ROLF - I used to work with people like this and they are the ones that NEVER got fired! How does that work? I worked with this one woman who - must have been a sister of the three stooges. I swear. She couldn't remember her own birthday. I heard through the grapevine that she almost killed a patient during a sleep study - they finally fired her! She gave him too many liters of Oxygen per minute - dumb. There were protocols for this, of course she must have forgotten. shucks
That was funny..I know she almost killed someone but she is really dumb...
I think my boss is finally coming to her senses.....I heard that she is letting my co-worker go. I really hope she does and get someone better in the process, my coworker is really not suited for the position at all.
Thanks for stopping by.
Management makes a big mistake in keeping those kind of people in my opinion. Not only do they bring the moral down - it makes the people who work hard angry because they actually have to work harder to make up for the slackers. Like that girl that almost killed someone - she never had to work with the difficult cases because she wasn't trusted. I started thi king if I got sloppy I might get an easier work load too;)
Good luck to you - at least you can laugh about ti and that's awesome.
This was so much fun to read. Thanks for the laughs!
Thanks Susan, glad I could make you laugh today.
Funny enough I have committed those ten deadly sins and I still had my job. Guess being pretty helps keep your job hehe. Fantastically funny hub darling, laughing my tits off! Good one xx
Mamelody, you are right, sometimes being pretty helps. In my case, I never committed any of those yet lost my job for making a personal safety judgement and the person committing all those 'job crimes' still has their job!
It's so unfair, really.
Well, you fixed it right with your last employee! There's always gotta be one of those! Fun read, thanks!
Frogyfish, the weird thing is those employees are always the last ones to get fired!
Fun hub that makes a great point. Wherever we are employed, we should be glad that we've got a job and must do our very best for our employers!
This was hilarious Cardisa! I could not stop reading this and laughed all the way through it. Awesome hub, voted up and all across the board except beautiful. Thanks for sharing, sorry you have a bad co-worker, it stinks having to deal with that, but you turned it into this super funny hub which just made my day LOL Thank you! ;)
Very funny hub! I hope your boss starts realizing that your coworker is a weak link! Why is her poor work performance being ignored? When she leaves work unfinished, do the other workers have to pick up the slack? If so, maybe her responsibilities should remain incomplete...then she may just have endure the wrath of an annoyed boss on her own!!
I agree with you Sinea, it's a pity we the employee have to put up with bad co-workers.
I am glad I could make you laugh Jennifer. Have a fun day!
Hi TattooKitty, our boss did realize that this woman was not a very good worker, but she kept her because whenever she needed something out of the ordinary done this person would always be willing to do it. My boss also said she liked her because she did not give her attitude whenever she spoke to her. I don't think those are grounds to keep an employee but it's her call.
Bummer!! Do you folks have a company fridge? If so, I'd start replacing her tuna sandwiches with cat food- LOL!
Dear Cardisa,
In this hub, you wrote like an angry young woman. But I am much pleased to the points explored by you in such a way that every BOSS should know, what the employees want. Thanks. An awesome hub.
Hey Tattoo Kitty you just gave me an idea....with the cat food. Thanks....you'll soon see....lol
On the contrary, I was not angry at all. While I wrote it I cracked my self up a couple of times.....lol I couldn't stop laughing, but seriously, if it wasn't for that employee, I would not have been able to come up with this idea!
lOvE it!
Thanks NiaG!
Funny hub! I have a coworker that does this stuff all the time. It kills me! I don't know how they are still there. At my previous employment I was in a position where I could do something about this behavior and I would fire them, lol! Not at the first offense but after a few times of any of the above mentioned actions it was old and tiring. I name people like you described at work as "Useless" lol.
Stylezink, I hate working with people like that, it annoys me that they usually get away with it.
Yeah those are good ways to get fired from a job. Lol
Loanyi, the weird thing is these are the last people to get fired! Not fair at all!
Thats so true... Lol. I guess everyone is talented on their own ways.
Haha! Also a good way to get fired, but you already put that in your disclaimer so I promise I won't send you a strongly worded complaint. ;) Voted up and funny.
Thanks Tamarindcandy.
Don't come running to me when you get fired...lol
Great hub - Cardisa. We had a guy like that. He was on a project that involved two other people. The other person and I were always having to redo his work and baby him. His standard answer was "It don't matter." He is the one who got a raise! I am a great believer in karma and it did come back to bite him. Thinking he was better than he was, they put him on another project by himself. Within a few months, he was "laid-off"
Voted up and beautiful hon.
MME, that's the beauty of Karma, always comes right back around to bite in the rear end!
I enjoyed the hub and would comment, but who could ever beat eppigrmman.
I see what you mean Barbara, he does have a way to win my heart!
I liked this so much I shared it a couple of places. Let me know if it helps!
Thank you MME, any traffic is great. Thanks!
Hahaha....I love this hub!!!
Chanroth, thank you!
lol. great read...When i want to get fired because i have no guts to quit, i will follow these ten steps
Thanks! Don't blame me when you get fired....lol
That is really funny. I have worked with this person. Well said!
Hi Tammy, I honestly believe there is one person like this in every office...lol
How about "Rat on your boss to his boss." Hilarious but true. Voting this Up and Interesting.
That's a good one Alocsin, ha ha , yeah, I like that one a lot! Thanks for stopping by.
To Cardisa:
This hub is right on the money regarding negative, immature job behaviors. I have yet another way: being a prima donna on the job-believing that one is above the work rules and work assignments. Now, that is a surefire guarantee to being unemployed. Great hub!
Hi Gwilliams, yes the prima donna thing is a good one too. Why do people behave this way? These people are always the last to get fired! Thanks for stopping by. Have a great day!
ladyjojo 11 months ago
Hey Cardisa
Do you work by me? LOL
Because all the things you said above sooths a worker by me always late works starts at 8:00am he reaches 2hrs and more after. Stays home very often. Leave lunchtime and never returns. Seldom call when he stays home. Over stay his vacation leave like 2 weeks over and says he forgot when he had to return.
Aint that pathetic?
Thanks for sharing